Overview

Imagine getting a phone call late at night. The voice on the other end sounds distressed — it’s your grandchild. They’ve been in a car accident, or they’ve been arrested, or they’re in the hospital in another city. They’re scared and they need money right away. And please — don’t tell Mom and Dad.

This is the grandparent scam. It’s cruel, it’s effective, and it’s been growing. Criminals use it because it exploits something genuine and admirable — the instinct to protect the people you love without stopping to ask questions.

The call feels real. The urgency feels real. The distress in the voice feels real. But it isn’t.

How It Works

The scam typically unfolds in one of two ways.

In the first version, a caller simply claims to be a grandchild in crisis. They may say something vague like “Grandma, it’s me — I’m in trouble” and wait for you to fill in the name yourself. Once you say “Tommy, is that you?” they have everything they need. From that point they have a name, your voice, and your emotional investment.

In the second version — increasingly common and more convincing — criminals use artificial intelligence to clone a real person’s voice from videos or audio posted on social media. The voice you hear may genuinely sound like your grandchild. This technology is now widely available and inexpensive to use.

After the initial call, a second person usually gets on the phone — someone posing as a lawyer, a bail bondsman, or a police officer. They explain the situation in authoritative detail and tell you exactly how much money is needed and how to send it. They’ll often instruct you to keep the matter private to avoid embarrassing the family.

A courier may even come to your door to collect cash in person.

Common Variations

The arrest scenario

Your grandchild has been arrested — perhaps for a DUI, a drug charge, or an accident involving another person. A “lawyer” calls to explain that bail or legal fees must be paid immediately, in cash or via wire transfer, before they can be released.

The accident scenario

Your grandchild has been in a car accident in another state or country and needs money for medical bills, repairs, or legal costs before they can come home.

The stranded traveler

Your grandchild is traveling and has been robbed, lost their wallet, or had their passport stolen. They just need enough money to get home safely.

The military or overseas variation

A family member is deployed or working abroad and has encountered a sudden emergency that requires an immediate wire transfer to resolve.

Warning Signs

• The call comes unexpectedly, often late at night or early in the morning when you’re less alert.
• There’s intense urgency — the money must be sent today, right now, before anything can be resolved.
• They ask you to keep it secret from other family members. This is the most important red flag. A real emergency does not require secrecy.
• They ask for cash, wire transfers, or gift cards. Real legal and medical systems do not work this way.
• The story has unusual details — a foreign country, an unfamiliar city, an unlikely set of circumstances.
• A courier arrives at your home to collect cash in person.

What to Do When You Get the Call

The most important thing is to slow down, even when everything in you wants to act immediately. That urgency is manufactured on purpose.

• Hang up and call your grandchild directly using the phone number you already have for them. Not a number the caller gives you — your own saved contact. If they answer, you’ll know immediately the call was a scam.
• Call another family member to verify the situation before doing anything else. A real emergency can survive a five-minute delay for confirmation.
• Ask a question only your real grandchild would know — a pet’s name, a childhood memory, something specific. Scammers won’t know the answer.
• Never send cash with a courier. No legitimate legal or bail process works this way.
• Never pay with gift cards. This is always fraud.
• If someone is pressuring you not to call family, that alone is reason enough to hang up.

A Note to Family Members

If you have an elderly parent or grandparent, it’s worth having a calm, matter-of-fact conversation about this scam before it happens. Establish a family code word that only real family members would know — something simple that anyone can ask for in a moment of uncertainty. Agree that no one in the family will ever ask for emergency money without a direct phone call to verify first.

This isn’t about doubting your loved one’s judgment. It’s about giving them a simple tool to use when someone is deliberately trying to overwhelm their judgment with fear and urgency.

If You’ve Already Sent Money

Please reach out right away — there is no reason to feel ashamed. These scams are designed specifically to bypass careful thinking, and they work on intelligent, loving people every day.

• Call Bank of Marin immediately at (866) 626-6004
• If cash was sent via a courier or wire, report it to the FTC at reportfraud.ftc.gov
• File a complaint with the FBI at ic3.gov
• If gift cards were used, call the gift card issuer immediately — some can freeze unused balances

Need Help?

If you receive a call like this and aren’t sure what to do, you are always welcome to call us at (866) 626-6004 or come into a branch before sending any money. We can help you think it through — no judgment, no pressure.

Remember: When in doubt, do not give out information or send money — contact your bank first!